We all long for love.
Almost all of us long for an intimate romantic partner.
This blog is not about the crazy things we do for that kind of love!
This is about a deeper love. Your first loves in your life…mom and dad.
“What!” you say. “I can’t stand my parents! They drive me crazy!”
We spend years in therapy blaming our parents for everything they did wrong. (I know I did!)
They may have done many things ‘wrong’ or in ways that felt harmful and neglectful.
Although we may be reluctant to admit it, or feel it, our child’s heart loves our parents deeply.
When I work with your heart and your family energy field in Family Constellations work, either in 1:1 healing sessions, or group healing work, we dive to a much deeper level than the psychological. By stepping directly into the energy field of your family system, we can access a deeper truth.
On the level of our conscious mind, we have stories about our parents–what they did right, and what they did wrong.
When we step into your family energy field directly, I assist you to move to soul level.
Things are very different there.
When working in a constellation, you may see and sense things about your parents and how they hold things that you did not know at all. This brings understanding and compassion. It allows you to soften your stance of blame toward them and see them in the context of what they inherited.
One of the big, “crazy” things we do as children, is sense what is unresolved in the family system and try to hold it for the family.
This is often trying to carry mom’s, dad’s or someone else's emotions for them that they are struggling with. Our little self thinks we can help this way, or win their love, or earn our belonging by helping to carry the burden.
The other big way we try to help, is to live life like someone in the system who has been rejected and lost their place of belonging. We try to bring them back in by re-enacting some part of their life story through our own experience so the family will be whole again and there can be peace. This is all done unconsciously.
Why is this crazy? Because we were too little. Too little to hold or process an adult's emotions for them. Too little to change the fate of an ancestor. It doesn’t actually help them (even though we think it does) and it harms us with a burden that will show up as dysfunctional patterns in our own lives.
The constellations process helps to bring these “unconscious loyalties” to light, so they can be seen and released from your body and energy ties.
If this sounds crazy…come witness and experience for yourself where you may have unconscious loyalties playing out within you that are keeping you stuck in your relationships, finances, health or career.
If you would like to see and feel how this beautiful process works, join me for Family Constellations healing work in 1:1 sessions, online groups or in-person groups.
➡️ For dates and fees for ONLINE & IN-PERSON Family Constellations groups look here.
➡️ Work with me in 1:1 healing where we can clear through the layers of stress, unaddressed trauma, inherited family trauma and energy field repair work.
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