How do your heart cords get hurt?
The most common cause of damage to heart chakra cords is being hurt in an unhealthy love relationship.
The hurt usually happens during our childhood and then the same dynamic is attracted and repeated as we grow up.
The hurt gets amplified each time the pattern repeats and our cords can get more and more tangled up and damaged as we try to sort out who to trust with our heart!
If your heart has been broken badly enough, it can cause damage in your relational cords. This affects the proper functioning of your heart chakra, which, in turn, impacts the physical functioning of the organs being fed by your heart chakra.
The organs fed by your heart chakra are:
❤️ your heart (all 4 chambers)
🩸circulatory system (your veins and arteries)
🍑 breasts
🩻 thoracic spine (the 12 vertebrae with your 12 ribs attached)
💚 thymus gland (governs immune functioning).
So if your heart has been broken, your lungs may be heavy with grief, or you may have atrial fibrillation, heart pain, palpitations or a heart attack. Your immune system may have a hard time setting boundaries between what is you (your cells) and what is not you (invading pathogens).
You have relational cords that come into the back of your heart chakra too. They hold your heart connections with your deceased loved ones.
You need to feel like your ancestors have your back and that you have a lineage of ‘goodhearted people’ behind you who flow their blessings toward you.
Many of us have disruptions in our family lines, where our parents or grandparents moved away from their community, or communal exchange became a thing of the past and this support was lost and not passed on to us. I see this pattern a lot when I work with you on intergenerational trauma and healing.
If we have unresolved baggage with our deceased parents or grandparents, this may also cause cord damage in the back of the heart. I have done a lot of cord work with people who have just lost a loved one, or did in the past to help them come to a place of better closure and sometimes even reconnection. Relational cords remain connected in your aura, even after death.
Your cords connect out to those you are in relationship with, and they also connect inward down into the tips of your chakras which are shaped like little tornadoes that spin energy from the universal energy field into you.
When you feel unloved by others, this often impacts how you love yourself. Feeling rejected or hurt by others often leads to self-rejection and self-judgment. This will show up as damage to the cords deep inside your heart chakra. Your cords may become disconnected from your core self, or your divine essence which resides in the deep centre of each chakra.
How do you heal your heartstrings?
Let me share a bit about my journey of healing my heart cords.
The pattern of self-rejection and self-judgment I spoke of just now, was exactly the state my heart was in around romantic relationships with men.
My eternal lament and deepest wound for so long was, “Where is my person!! Why do others have a partner and I don’t? What is wrong with me?” It was very painful. I seemed to attract men who were full of their own wounding and did not treat me very well.
The pattern was, I was very loyal and loved deeply and held on, and they stuck around for about 6 months and left! This went on for many years.
Then 2 years ago at age 50, I met my partner Mark. How did I heal my heart and attract a very healthy relationship of mutuality, clear communication, respect, and lots and lots of heartfelt laughter?
I see that I did 2 things.
One was a lot of Family Constellations work. I was training as a constellations facilitator over 2020 and have continued on with a lot of this work since then. It healed my relationships with my parents, which are our foundation of love.
The second was a lot of work with my 2nd chakra and sexual energy. I didn’t feel particularly wounded in this area of my life–this part of my romantic relationships had been ok. But I wasn’t connected enough with my own flow of life-force energy. I’d let it go dormant every time I wasn’t in a relationship, which was more often than not!
It’s harder to send out a radar signal for a mate when your pelvis and 2nd chakra are asleep!
I decided to finally dig into the book by Mantak Chia on Taoist Sexual Healing Love practices that had been on my shelf since my 20’s and do the work! I started to learn more about my body and the true potential of my energy flow connected to my sexual energy and integrated practices bit by bit (there is a lot to learn!) over the course of a year with a commitment to practice!
This act of self-love and alignment with staying connected to myself to stay connected with another person also worked!
I still had to do the leg-work of getting on a dating app, but once I had done the work and set my intention clearly for the kind of person I wanted, I met Mark right away. So far, our relationship has been harmonious and easy, since so many of my own relational cords were sorted out in these 2 chakras.
How do your cords thrive in loving relationship exchanges?
We always form relationships and new relational cords based on the original template or relational cords we grew with our parents or primary caregivers growing up.
That’s why intuitively, you may sense you need to go into therapy and look into your childhood in order to heal your heart before you can harmonize with others and a mate.
The challenge with conventional therapy is that you can get stuck in the “blame game” with your parents and continue to reject them for their faults and mistakes. What does this do to your relational cords with them?
To truly move forward, you need to be able to receive from your parents and focus on what is good.
This is why I prefer the Family Constellations approach, where we look at what was hard, but seek to see your parents in the larger context of their soul, their own trauma, and their place in the family system. At soul level, we move you to higher ground and get to a place of peace and resolution where you can receive life and love from your parents the way they gave it, and take that forward with you to your cords with your children, your lovers, and everyone you relate with.
Once you make a healthy connection with the loves of your life, then it's a matter of honoring the balance of give and take.
Love needs to flow back and forth between your hearts in equal measure, not moment by moment or ‘tit for tat’, but in the longer arcs of your exchanges.
(This does not apply to parents and children. Parents give and children receive.)
Expressing your genuine appreciation for the other person is a simple and wonderful way to flow energy from your heart chakra, through your relational cords, to their heart chakra in a way that will warm their heart! It feels good for you too!
Keep seeing and uplifting what is good, and the good will grow between you.
Here are 2 ways I can help you heal your 4th chakra relational cords:
➡️ Step in to 1:1 healing work. Over a period of 3-6 months, we can look at the journey your heart has been on in this life, do relational cord healing work, and Family Constellations work to heal the primary cord bonds with your parents and your people so other relationships feel easier too.
➡️ Attend Family Constellations group healing work. With my facilitation and the help of others in the group, we can take a look at any relationship you struggle with. The result is transformative healing and eventually peace and resolution in those connections.
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