If the goddess, or Great Mother, came as a supplement in a bottle...would you need to add it to your diet? Are you deficient? Do you have enough of this form of nourishment? Do you dine on Her regularly?
A recent healing treatment with a client has me asking myself these questions.
In this gorgeous session, we were working on the client’s ‘mother wound’. It’s one many of us have. It’s often not mom’s fault.
To uncover and tend to this wound, the important questions I ask you during the first appointment of a 3 month Transformation package, are drawn from my training in Family Constellations:
Did something traumatic happen while your mother was pregnant with you?
Was she highly anxious, depressed, or stressed?
Were your parents having difficulties in their relationship during the pregnancy? (Unsure they’d stay together? Violence? Arguing? Separating? Drinking? Cheating?)
Did you experience a difficult birth? Were you born premature? Forceps?
Did your mother experience postpartum depression?
Were you separated from your mother after birth?
Were you adopted?
Did you experience a trauma or a separation from your mother during your childhood or infancy?
Did your parents go on a vacation when you were young?
Were you sent away to visit relatives or grandparents?
Were you or your mother ever hospitalized and forced to be apart (maybe you spent time in an incubator, or had your tonsils removed or some other medical procedure, or your mother needed to have surgery or experienced a complication from a pregnancy, or you were sent to stay with grandparents or other family members, etc.)?
Did your mother experience a trauma or emotional turmoil during your childhood or infancy (death of a parent, grandparent or sibling, a separation or divorce, alcoholic or unfaithful husband, etc.)?
Did your mother give away a child, or lose a child or pregnancy before or after you were born?
Was your mother’s attention pulled to a trauma involving one of your siblings (a late-term miscarriage, a stillbirth, a death, a medical emergency, etc.)?
The answers to these questions show where you may have an interrupted bond with mom. You may wish to answer them for yourself now, and write what you know in your journal to bring it to your first treatment with me.
Once your bond has been interrupted, you lose trust in mom, and it can be very difficult to reconnect.
You may become the ‘independent’ child. Mom just thinks it’s part of your temperament.. Or she is aware of what has happened, but does not know how to repair the bond.
If you are a mom and this resonates, I can help you with that.
For many of us, this is the root of our “goddess deficiency.” Past-life trauma also applies. Many of us remember lifetimes where we were persecuted for relating to the goddess. But we always start with your current-life manifestation of the wound.
As I supported my client to tenderly reconnect with her abandoned child, she contacted this part of her wound through the energies she was feeling as sensation in her body.
We started with a block, or tension in her heart. (This is where my training in Somatic Experiencing and Energy Healing find synergy and purpose.)
Her healing began to unfold.
As she made contact with her inner child through her sensitive presence, in a way, standing in for the attunement her mother was not able to give her, the child consciousness held within her began to feel more trust.
With more trust, she gradually immersed into her body. First from her heart to her solar plexus. Then down into her pelvis and second chakra. Finally down to her root chakra and pelvic floor.
As she did this, something quite amazing happened.
I felt the goddess transmission arrive in the field, and a gorgeous black dragon animated in her energy field. The dragon held a feminine, void, dark goddess, sensual, life-force animating quality.
This is the closest image I have found to what I witnessed.
I attune to you while I work with you (this was an online session), so I was feeling this black dragon moving within my own body, as an aspect of the goddess.
The client (and myself along with her...I love my job!) moved into deep embodiment: a full receiving of the goddess energy within her body...all the way down to her feet.
When the energies moved from her root into her legs, she felt the need to stand up so she could move and welcome the energy fully.
It was a gorgeous session. She more fully received her own potent essence into her body, the way she needed to at her birth, but did not feel safe or supported enough to do.
After I got off zoom with her...something else arose.
I suddenly felt like I wanted to “pretty myself up.” I went and put on a black top I rarely wear (this healing took place on Solstice day...the shortest, darkest day of the yearly cycle.) I put on earrings. I wanted to do my hair and put on make-up.
In my mind, I started to form an intention to put myself out more beautifully in the new year. The intention was a mental-level manifestation of the goddess energy that was alive in me from the session.
If you know me...when I’m not in ‘office wear’, I spend most of my days in jeans, a flannel lumberjack shirt, no bra, bare feet, and a ponytail.
Dressing myself in a typically feminine way, with flowy ‘goddess wear’, sparkling jewelry, or really, any attention to my appearance, is just not me. (Even though I have both the Goddess and the Queen archetypes in my team of Soul Guides.)
Now, I’m not saying we have to zhuzh ourselves up to be “feminine”. What I’m saying is, having a sudden wave of this impulse within me is a very a-typical occurrence. It was definitely a consequence of participating in this healing. It felt beautiful.
It left me with a deep knowing: I’m goddess deficient.
It would be very delicious and empowering to my own gorgeous spirit to let Her in to embodiment in a ritual way far more often.
It’s one of the reasons I follow the feminine embodiment practices of Chameli Ardaugh. I’m longing to work with her in person someday so I can receive the goddess transmission from her practices directly. But I’ll take it when it shows up in healing treatments!
Perhaps you are like me. It’s hard to find the doorway into the feminine without the space being held, or the mentoring of another woman, or women.
Do you have a relationship with the goddess? How do you experience it? Are you deficient? Do you have an interrupted bond with your own mother? Do you need help to heal your connection with the feminine?
Work with me in 1:1 healing sessions, or join the women's circle in the Soul Nourished Woman.
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